The U.S./Mexico border field trip was one filled with intense and forceful reflection. The scenery played a part in the emotional state I experienced that day, but more so, it was the idea of the gates and border itself that I had a reaction to. The concept of controlling people and limiting ones access is nothing shy of showcasing extreme authority. The notion of “No you can not enter” for some, contrasted to “Yes, welcome” for others, is a reality we all live with and yet we do not allow ourselves enough time to comprehend the weight of that idea. A government’s constraint upon a large group of people, and their free will, is deeply profound.
As I stood on one side of the gate-watching people on the opposite side, I could not help but to think, why can I and they cannot. Suddenly, a forceful feeling of separation rushed over me. The differences between “me” and “them” were abruptly apparent, and frankly I did not like the feeling. I felt upsettingly fortunate. I felt confusingly capable. There was even moments of disheartening embarrassment.
I experienced an abundance of thoughts and emotions that day, mostly related to the concept of control, but perhaps it was my reaction to these ideas and feelings that was most surprising. I went into this day knowing that it would be deep and emotional; these are weighty words, and yet they did not do justice my actual experience. I was taken back by my acknowledgement of the gates, the authority, and the separation. Truthfully I never felt that I had overlooked these ideas, in reality, I had. I now have a new outlook on my heart and minds capability of change. I have had an unanticipated understanding of what a humbling process is.